Bracing Oneself
Walking Out Your Calling to the Best of Your Ability
First off, I just want to keep in your minds…
Ok, now…
This morning, we welcomed my main drummer to North Carolina. If you’ve heard any of my music, chances are, you’ve heard him on the drums. When we first met, he was less than one years-old, and I was a teenager. Now he’s top of my list, and has been for some time now.
Saturday evening begins a week-long saga of rehearsals, recording sessions, praise and worship, and a concert.
My best friend/co-producer, Randy Sandoli and I have three days of recording for several projects. He has a new album he’s working on, I have some singles I will release soon, we’re working on the second Hanukkah album for this year, I have a Christmas album I’m finishing up with Selena Albright, and my father has a couple of new songs we will release soon.
This Saturday morning, we will have praise and worship at my house. We usually have it at my parents’ but since the boys and I moved back into the house my late wife and I bought together, I’ve had a strong desire to have everyone over to worship here this week.
Over those next three days, we’ll be in the studio working on all the projects with our bass player, drummer, me and Randy on different keyboards, singers, and more.
Then on Wednesday, Randy is putting on a house concert in Weddington, NC.
It’s been a hard couple of weeks, but less so because of grief, although that’s always the backdrop. What has made it a difficult couple of weeks is more mental than anything else. I gave myself a health scare last week. It turned out, there’s nothing wrong with me. But when I thought something was wrong, I began to spiral a bit. My first thoughts were that I refuse… REFUSE to leave the boys without a father. I began telling G-d there was no way He was going to allow me to die when the boys just lost their mother not even two years ago. My mind went all the way there immediately.
But again, as it turns out, I’m fine.
I’ve also decided that starting this fall, I’m going to be teaching private piano, drums, and group music lessons again; both in person and virtually. My dad started a music school in 1997 wherein I and my sisters were students, along with 60+ other kids. In 2008, I began teaching in it while going to college. When I graduated, I became the director of the school all the way until my late wife and I moved to the east coast.
I tried to re-launch the school, but the timing wasn’t quite right, then my wife died. Still, the desire has not left me. I’m going to start with simply teaching on my own for now and letting things grow naturally.
Dear friends and colleagues of mine and I are talking about ways to strengthen our efforts to combat and spread the word about continued slavery across the globe. It continues to tear my heart apart.
Oh, and it’s Grammy season again. I’ve submitted the first song I wrote after my wife passed away, ‘The End of Time.'“
Of course, all of this is overwhelming. But all of this is part of what I am supposed to do while I’m here on this side of life. My sons are before all of this, and it all flows from our household. With G-d direction and wisdom, we will navigate this the right way.
I have no real point in this particular entry. Just wanted to share with you what’s going on. If you know me personally, and you texted/emailed me and haven’t received a response, please charge it to my head and not my heart.